found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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