about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
