Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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