why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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