Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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