he thought i was a dude.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
