I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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