I wish I could teleport
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
