Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Randomize
