You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
