is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
