she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
