at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
