Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
being pregnant is like rehab
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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