drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
