TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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