Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she was so not down for the gang bang
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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