my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
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And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
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That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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