it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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