Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
