Having a random hookup so left but love u
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
