I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
