Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
