dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
