just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
