R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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