just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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