Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Do you still have your period?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
