So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
