Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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