i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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