So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
