You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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