I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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