he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize