Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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