so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
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Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
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Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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