Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
