It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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