He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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