If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
