we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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