I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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