if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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