Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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