Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
tell me about the eggs
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