You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
