The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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