He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
