I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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