I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
