My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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