She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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