Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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