apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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