Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
