Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
