I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
