Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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