would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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