it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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