she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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