I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
