Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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