Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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