I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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