Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
